So, I was up this morning reading the Quran and ran across this scripture…
Surah 41:23-“And that, your (evil) thought which you entertained about your Lord, ruined you, so you have become of the lost ones.”
It’s hard to admit to oneself that you have the audacity too be mad at the Lord of the worlds…I mean even I have the good sense to know that I shouldn’t go there…but there I go.
I know that God tries us all…the Quran tells us that we are given what?, at least two severe ones annually…so what is it about us that makes us buck when we face one? Seeing as though God knows us best…He did form us in our mothers wombs didn’t he? He knows what to try us with to extract impurities from of us, to make us better people…something we have all asked for…but then the trial sets in a we wild out…
So a couple years ago God hit me with a trial years in the making…a trial that coldcocked me…so hard like in Ali knocking out Liston…so after I realized what happened I realized I was mad at God…I was like, “for real God…really….. but I’m on my Deen…how could you? I so do not deserve this! That is all all types of wrong!” So, I shift from gratitude praying to how could you/judgemental praying….dangerous territory, man…and the bad part about it is that I didn’t even realize it was happening…I was so wrapped up in my pain, that I didn’t keep a tab on my spiritual pulse…and when you don’t do that it’s very easy too flatline. So for a while, things started going from bad to worse; and I couldn’t figure out why…probably because I was asking the wrong questions.
One of the things Minister Farrakhan states is that when you ‘re going through a trial, you have to study the trial. You must look into it and extract the lesson. Trust the lesson is not “God, I don’t deserve this!” nor is it “God, you ‘re bogus for this one!”
Now, don’t get me wrong, I didn’t outright say these things…but truss I truly felt this way…and as the scripture above says…I was lost. I couldn’t find my way back to a peaceful relationship with God, and as we know when your relationship with God is jacked up…all others closely follow…I was lost from what things made me happy…I couldn’t find joy in anything….why? In my honest opinion it’s because I was entertaining “evil thoughts about my Lord” and until I got it together I was …as my church fam would say…blocking my “blessings (-:)
The point? When we’re going through something…or even if we’re not we gotta always check our spiritual pulse and our attitude cuz nobody humbles like The God! It’s ok to question God…just keep it humble! (Jesus did ask, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”) It’s even ok to not understand why you’re going through something…just pray for understanding with a humble heart..recognize you’re talking to God and ain’t trying to catch an aneurysm in this piece.