The March, Broken Nails, and Nostalgia

Tags

acceptance, Farrakhan, God, happiness, haute muslim, health, life, marriage, millionmanmarch

Bismillah!

This week I have watched people from various communities post about the Million Man March. This week marks the eighteenth anniversary of the March and of course I am taken back to the day of the March in my own life.   I would love to post how I was this conscious chick with a thorough understanding of how profound the March was…that I stayed home and watched proudly as my then boyfriend left out the door on his way to Washington D.C.  Um, no…not even.

Now, I wasn’t quite ratchet, but I was kinda unconcerned.  I think apathetic is the word I’m looking for. I was in survival mode and that was it.  The connectedness of it all…the survival of my people…not even a blip on my personal radar…I was swimming in the Sea of Me, as Jill Blashack Strahan would say.  My life, my world, my friends, my man, my survival.  That is it and all.

I did stay home from work and school that day, per the Minister’s request.  But it wasn’t because I understood the Minister to be a man of God and of the people.  Nor was it because I was so vested in the need for our people to atone, be organized and take responsibility for our own. Nope…not even.  I stayed home because at that time all it took was a broken nail for me to call off of work. (I am proud to say I have matured since becoming self employed…a little bit…lol) Truth be told, at that time in my life, even though I grew up in Chicago and was “kicking it” (I understand the kids don’t use that terminology anymore…) on the East side of Chicago (where NOI HQ is) back then….I hadn’t the slightest idea of who Minister Farrakhan was. My interaction with the Minister consisted of a poster my boyfriend had of him on the wall in his bedroom. Plus, I had seen the Wrath of Farrakhan on In Living Color and I had seen Farrakhan on the Arsenio Hall show…but, I didn’t pay attention.  Still didn’t care.

So, as some celebrate the March and travel to Tuskegee, Alabama to hear the Minister speak, I think we should think about the reason the Minister called the March.  I think we should think about the steps of atonement.  I think we should think about our people and how we so desperately need to collectively awaken, take responsibility for our own lives and actively get together to “do some shit“!

Sometimes as folks in a religion we think that people actually give a damn about our religion. Um, not so much.  I think what makes people care enough to even investigate what we say we believe is the example we personally put forth.  So, if we are all about pontificating from a soap box while our communities fall all around us, we do more damage than good (IMO).  Talking about how to make marriages work when you’re on your 5th divorce don’t move me…0_o  How ’bout you actually make your marriage work and then come see me…mmmk?! The only reason I ever even agreed to visit the mosque in the first place is because I saw a first hand example of someone striving to live the life he said he believed…again, not so much what he said, but what he did. (Plus, he wasn’t so hard on the eyes…but that’s another story for another blog regarding using your power for good!) What was I saying…had little flashback moment to his fine-ness then and now….Ok, ok…I was saying that he was an example of what he said…it didn’t and still doesn’t stop with just his words.

Love or hate the Minister he has been grinding on the front line for almost 60 years! Yep! Not that he grind-ed… (past tense attempt…not sure that’s even a word…lol) I’m talking about still grinding. Out there with the people, even to this day…doing more than just talking, tweeting, and posting. Don’t believe me? Listen to the Minister speak today , October 20, 2013 at 3:30 pm EST, and you will see a 80 year old man doing more in a day than most of us will ever do in a life time and looking hella healthy while doing it!  Again, healthier than some half his age!

Just for the record, I don’t consider myself an individual that is doing the damn thing. As I type this blog, I am keenly aware that I should be doing more to assist in improving the lives of the disenfranchised of our society.  On days like this when we talk about the March and celebrate Atonement, I think about how to parlay what I believe into a change in my life and those who come into contact with me. Not big into trying to convert people, I’m more about challenging people to accept who they are and embracing their own gifts and talents!  I think about how when I interact with people (inside and outside of the mosque) people need to see the love that anyone who has experienced the Minister has seen and felt…so, not the soundbites people hear! But, ultimately I think about whether or not am I doing what God put me here to do, cuz at the end of the day, it’s about the work, not nostalgia!

The Time, Sewing and Me

Tags

and, be, children, clothes, daughter, done, Farrakhan, God, haute muslim, life, marriage, modest, Muslimah, must, relationships, sewing, spiritual, student, the, time, what

Bismillah!

My husband is doing a performance in New York in support of our freedom fighters locked down.  Sometimes I am concerned for him.  Sometimes I miss him.  Sometimes I am selfish and do not wish to share my husband with the world.  Other times, I am understanding. I am thankful. I am proud. While other times, I am fearful.  Sometimes, I want to sing all his hooks.  Record all his videos. Go to every performance…  But I can’t.

I am most often prayerful, cognizant that when God has given you a mission.  You must submit.  When God has revealed to you how you are to use your gifts and talents.  You must submit.   I used to think that my mission was to help my husband.  That was it.  That was all.  I no longer feel that way. Don’t misunderstand me, part of my mission is to help my husband.  I am his help meet.  Don’t get it twisted, I AM THAT PROVERBS 31 CHICK! (I intend to put that on a t-shirt…copyright 2013) But, I am me.  I too have a mission.  But, everything in its own time.

THMLF has got me thinking about the time.  How am I supposed to utilize my time here on Earth…specifically.  He tweeted earlier today, “We have to accept responsibility to rectify the condition that prevails in our communities because no one else can do it for us. Rise up and accept your responsibility!” We all have a different role to play and different responsibilities.  At different times in our lives we may have to fall back and figure out just what that role is. The thing is we have to keep moving while trying to figure out where we fit in.

What I am learning  is that everything must be in its own time.  When you try to rush things, they are compromised.  You can’t take the cake out before its done. I am learning to trust that Allah is Sufficient and the Best Knower.  I am learning that this world and the mission is so much bigger than just me, but that I still play a part in it.

My part today was not as grand as what some might think their mission would be. It did not involve speaking before congress.  Nor did it envolve removing a brain tumor.  To me, it was just as important.  I helped my sister begin to learn how to sew.  It’s funny how the God can teach you lessons, if you just shut up and listen for Him.

I’m really busy.  My husband is frequently out of town. We have three small children (the youngest is one) who all have extra curricular activities and I am in school full time. But, I agreed to help my sister start her sewing journey.  I am grateful that she came by.  She too is busy.  She is newly married.  She is pregnant and has a daughter who has extra curricular activities.  But, it was important to her to learn how to sew, for herself and for her daughter. Nation building starts with individuals and families first.

We met for about 4 hours and by the end we were both exhausted.  Her spirit of tenacity is always inspiring.  I love how you can look at her face and see her mind working. She was in the orientation class when I was the instructress and she was always the most studious and the most quiet.  You had to be prepared, because she was there to find  truth. She takes her spirituality seriously. She is the epitome of humility.  Her grace is admirable.  I love and admire this sister.

I have to tell you.  I only intended on spending 2 hours max….ok one hour… on the class.  But, she was so determined to get her head around a certain concept that we had to keep going.  She taught me that I do have more time to dedicate to helping others.  She taught me that I do have the patience and knowledge to teach people how to sew.  I am not the best seamstress, no not by a long shot, but I know how to sew.  Just teaching the basics of pattern reading, measuring, and fabric selection will give someone the basics of sewing.  She can take these principles and teach herself how to make anything she wants to make …and she will.  I am inspired.