The March, Broken Nails, and Nostalgia

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acceptance, Farrakhan, God, happiness, haute muslim, health, life, marriage, millionmanmarch

Bismillah!

This week I have watched people from various communities post about the Million Man March. This week marks the eighteenth anniversary of the March and of course I am taken back to the day of the March in my own life.   I would love to post how I was this conscious chick with a thorough understanding of how profound the March was…that I stayed home and watched proudly as my then boyfriend left out the door on his way to Washington D.C.  Um, no…not even.

Now, I wasn’t quite ratchet, but I was kinda unconcerned.  I think apathetic is the word I’m looking for. I was in survival mode and that was it.  The connectedness of it all…the survival of my people…not even a blip on my personal radar…I was swimming in the Sea of Me, as Jill Blashack Strahan would say.  My life, my world, my friends, my man, my survival.  That is it and all.

I did stay home from work and school that day, per the Minister’s request.  But it wasn’t because I understood the Minister to be a man of God and of the people.  Nor was it because I was so vested in the need for our people to atone, be organized and take responsibility for our own. Nope…not even.  I stayed home because at that time all it took was a broken nail for me to call off of work. (I am proud to say I have matured since becoming self employed…a little bit…lol) Truth be told, at that time in my life, even though I grew up in Chicago and was “kicking it” (I understand the kids don’t use that terminology anymore…) on the East side of Chicago (where NOI HQ is) back then….I hadn’t the slightest idea of who Minister Farrakhan was. My interaction with the Minister consisted of a poster my boyfriend had of him on the wall in his bedroom. Plus, I had seen the Wrath of Farrakhan on In Living Color and I had seen Farrakhan on the Arsenio Hall show…but, I didn’t pay attention.  Still didn’t care.

So, as some celebrate the March and travel to Tuskegee, Alabama to hear the Minister speak, I think we should think about the reason the Minister called the March.  I think we should think about the steps of atonement.  I think we should think about our people and how we so desperately need to collectively awaken, take responsibility for our own lives and actively get together to “do some shit“!

Sometimes as folks in a religion we think that people actually give a damn about our religion. Um, not so much.  I think what makes people care enough to even investigate what we say we believe is the example we personally put forth.  So, if we are all about pontificating from a soap box while our communities fall all around us, we do more damage than good (IMO).  Talking about how to make marriages work when you’re on your 5th divorce don’t move me…0_o  How ’bout you actually make your marriage work and then come see me…mmmk?! The only reason I ever even agreed to visit the mosque in the first place is because I saw a first hand example of someone striving to live the life he said he believed…again, not so much what he said, but what he did. (Plus, he wasn’t so hard on the eyes…but that’s another story for another blog regarding using your power for good!) What was I saying…had little flashback moment to his fine-ness then and now….Ok, ok…I was saying that he was an example of what he said…it didn’t and still doesn’t stop with just his words.

Love or hate the Minister he has been grinding on the front line for almost 60 years! Yep! Not that he grind-ed… (past tense attempt…not sure that’s even a word…lol) I’m talking about still grinding. Out there with the people, even to this day…doing more than just talking, tweeting, and posting. Don’t believe me? Listen to the Minister speak today , October 20, 2013 at 3:30 pm EST, and you will see a 80 year old man doing more in a day than most of us will ever do in a life time and looking hella healthy while doing it!  Again, healthier than some half his age!

Just for the record, I don’t consider myself an individual that is doing the damn thing. As I type this blog, I am keenly aware that I should be doing more to assist in improving the lives of the disenfranchised of our society.  On days like this when we talk about the March and celebrate Atonement, I think about how to parlay what I believe into a change in my life and those who come into contact with me. Not big into trying to convert people, I’m more about challenging people to accept who they are and embracing their own gifts and talents!  I think about how when I interact with people (inside and outside of the mosque) people need to see the love that anyone who has experienced the Minister has seen and felt…so, not the soundbites people hear! But, ultimately I think about whether or not am I doing what God put me here to do, cuz at the end of the day, it’s about the work, not nostalgia!

Hottie Muslim

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acceptance, clothes, daria, God, haute muslim, marriage, modest, muslim, Muslimah, relationships, responsiblity, sad, sick, spiritual, world

Bismillah!

So the other day I was picking up my husband from the airport.  He had gone somewhere that was very difficult for me to deal with  and stayed for a number of days…so you can imagine that I was super happy that he made it back home.

On this particular day,  I decided to pick him up more as “Hottie” Muslim than “Haute” Muslim. Side note: Don’t judge me! Allah saw me way before your judgmental eyes read this post…

Anyway, as I rode to the airport on this beautiful summer day dressed other than myself, I began to think about how absolutely fine I felt and looked.  I noticed the stares from the men and women…and shamed to admit I liked the attention!  I had the window down, the sun was shining and I was singing my favorite songs!  As my eyes looked up to the rear view mirror and I caught a glance at myself, I thought…MILF!

Please make no mistake,  do not misunderstand this post! It is not a celebration of my Islamically inappropriate behavior.  Nor is it some “Hey, look at me” self esteem post…that’s for tomorrow (;  The entire point to this post is what my next thoughts were.  My very next thought as my eyes left the rear view mirror still celebrating my ample glittery cleavage was that Allah is not pleased.

My second thought was how easy it was for me to do it.  Yeah, I felt mad uncomfortable and even thought about putting on a jacket.  But, it was like that cartoon angel and devil on your shoulder.  That day the devil won…This is the thought I want to talk about, because I really don’t need to expound of God’s thoughts regarding immodesty.  Striving… Anyway, I thought about how I could just as easily dress this way if  I wanted to…everyday.  I thought about how we all know what we are supposed to do and in different matters choose to do the exact opposite.  Whether it’s an agreement between two people, whether you feel it’s what God wants you to do, or whether it’s something you promised yourself…It could be something small to something big…but, the point is, we make these kind of decisions every single day.  It lead me to the thought that we should applaud folks for the small things.  Applaud folks that do what they say they are supposed to do.  I’m not saying that we should have some sort of parade or whatever, but damn this is a sick sad world…(Daria Flashbacks abound…) So, someone striving deserves some applause! Even if that someone is you!

Cuz I gotta tell you don’t nobody gotta do nothing, so when they do, when we do… make our word bond, support them/yourself.  I went out of the house with dressed as the Anti-Hijab, no lie, and it was easy, by comparison. I don’t have a problem dressing Islamically…not really my uphill road, got other issues…( Now I know, there’s some deep rooted spiritual illness that I need to deal with and trust, Allah is not done with me….He got it… Normally, though, I don’t go out the house dressed immodestly.) The point is we live in a world that is built on selling that we should be the exact opposite of the spiritual guidelines provided for us. Spouses aren’t supposed to cheat  and we know it…but, at the end of the day…we could do it if that’s what we wanted to.  So, even though someone isn’t supposed to…look at the world we live in.  Some people do not care…so when you have someone trying…If you are someone striving…focus on that and applaud the struggle.  Cuz, it is ordained and there isn’t one single reason why we can’t applaud when someone makes the right decision.

The Time, Sewing and Me

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and, be, children, clothes, daughter, done, Farrakhan, God, haute muslim, life, marriage, modest, Muslimah, must, relationships, sewing, spiritual, student, the, time, what

Bismillah!

My husband is doing a performance in New York in support of our freedom fighters locked down.  Sometimes I am concerned for him.  Sometimes I miss him.  Sometimes I am selfish and do not wish to share my husband with the world.  Other times, I am understanding. I am thankful. I am proud. While other times, I am fearful.  Sometimes, I want to sing all his hooks.  Record all his videos. Go to every performance…  But I can’t.

I am most often prayerful, cognizant that when God has given you a mission.  You must submit.  When God has revealed to you how you are to use your gifts and talents.  You must submit.   I used to think that my mission was to help my husband.  That was it.  That was all.  I no longer feel that way. Don’t misunderstand me, part of my mission is to help my husband.  I am his help meet.  Don’t get it twisted, I AM THAT PROVERBS 31 CHICK! (I intend to put that on a t-shirt…copyright 2013) But, I am me.  I too have a mission.  But, everything in its own time.

THMLF has got me thinking about the time.  How am I supposed to utilize my time here on Earth…specifically.  He tweeted earlier today, “We have to accept responsibility to rectify the condition that prevails in our communities because no one else can do it for us. Rise up and accept your responsibility!” We all have a different role to play and different responsibilities.  At different times in our lives we may have to fall back and figure out just what that role is. The thing is we have to keep moving while trying to figure out where we fit in.

What I am learning  is that everything must be in its own time.  When you try to rush things, they are compromised.  You can’t take the cake out before its done. I am learning to trust that Allah is Sufficient and the Best Knower.  I am learning that this world and the mission is so much bigger than just me, but that I still play a part in it.

My part today was not as grand as what some might think their mission would be. It did not involve speaking before congress.  Nor did it envolve removing a brain tumor.  To me, it was just as important.  I helped my sister begin to learn how to sew.  It’s funny how the God can teach you lessons, if you just shut up and listen for Him.

I’m really busy.  My husband is frequently out of town. We have three small children (the youngest is one) who all have extra curricular activities and I am in school full time. But, I agreed to help my sister start her sewing journey.  I am grateful that she came by.  She too is busy.  She is newly married.  She is pregnant and has a daughter who has extra curricular activities.  But, it was important to her to learn how to sew, for herself and for her daughter. Nation building starts with individuals and families first.

We met for about 4 hours and by the end we were both exhausted.  Her spirit of tenacity is always inspiring.  I love how you can look at her face and see her mind working. She was in the orientation class when I was the instructress and she was always the most studious and the most quiet.  You had to be prepared, because she was there to find  truth. She takes her spirituality seriously. She is the epitome of humility.  Her grace is admirable.  I love and admire this sister.

I have to tell you.  I only intended on spending 2 hours max….ok one hour… on the class.  But, she was so determined to get her head around a certain concept that we had to keep going.  She taught me that I do have more time to dedicate to helping others.  She taught me that I do have the patience and knowledge to teach people how to sew.  I am not the best seamstress, no not by a long shot, but I know how to sew.  Just teaching the basics of pattern reading, measuring, and fabric selection will give someone the basics of sewing.  She can take these principles and teach herself how to make anything she wants to make …and she will.  I am inspired.

The Skirt

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clothes, g, haute muslim, long, mimi, modest, Muslimah, sewing, skirt, spiritual, virtuous, wear, woman

Bismillah,

I often get questions about where to get long skirts…there are a plethora of stores that sell them, but your best bet is making your own. Online resources like Shukr sale really cute long skirts…but they start at $70. Unless you can catch one on sale. If you can you’re looking at spending $35 and they may or may not have your size. Actually they are having a sale now…

You can make this skirt with between 1 7/8 yards (size 6) of fabric to 2 1/2 (size 22).  And you too can have the perfect long skirt…which I like to call The Skirt.  I have made this skirt in red, brown, white, and multi-tan. Seriously, it’s that usable of a pattern…

I  saw another really great skirt on Mimi G. Style  made of  tie dyed denim and was inspired to make this skirt again out of the same fabric.  (Mimi posted a link to purchase it with a 10% discount! God Bless her!)  I’m going to makeV1038 out of the tie dyed fabric too, when I find the time.  Keep in mind, Mimi’s skirt  is a Burda pattern that she had to lengthen from knee to ankle and the one I’m recommending is a Vogue and you don’t have to lengthen. (You’ll have to google the other one (;)

This ankle length skirt, V1038, can be dressed up or down, depending on your fabric selection.  If you look at the drawing you’ll notice the great detail at the hips and bottom. It is an extremely easy sew. The pattern is a DKNY pattern.

If you have any questions about this pattern comment below and I will try to help.

My take on “Colored Girls”…For “Concious Girls” Who Have Considered Doing the Mission

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colored girls, haute muslim, I'Asia Eybers, Orlana Darkins, responsiblity, review, tyler perry, virtue magazine

When I was a little girl, my mother had this play by Ntozake Shange on her bookshelf. I would always pick it up because of the colorful cover. I never read it, never looked beyond the cover, and never contemplated beyond its cover. It’s an unfortunate characteristic that I’m still striving to not employ…ya, know the cliche’ judging a book by its cover…but, isn’t that what we sometimes do? Whether it’s negatively or positively, we judge. We think we know how someone is doing by the price of her stiletto, by the smile on her face, or by her oh so spiritual facebook status update. Never taking the time to actually open the book.  MESSAGE…LOL

My take on the movie is a lil’ bit different. Although I do see , understand and agree with the commentary that has been given on the continual diss of the black male in front of the entire world…I must say for the record HILL HARPER  portrayed a positive black male character…unless he did something real crazy in the first 20 minutes (cuz I was late).

Despite the critics trashing it and other negative reviews, in my opinion, I think the movie brought to light a lot of issues that we are dealing with in our community. To name a few (not in order of importance): emasculated black men, crazy parents, promiscuity, teen pregnancy, veterans not being cared for(economically or emotionally), alcoholism, big I’s little U’s, hypocrisy in religion, infidelity, abuse, poverty, abortion, Claire Huxtable not getting her due, low self esteem, fertility issues, HIV, rape, cheap wigs, haunted by past mistakes, relationship issues, the fact that Idris Elba should’ve been at least a mailman in this flick and cultivating true sisterhood.  All are important and realistic issues we are dealing with that can’t be easily dismissed. We must really and truthfully look at our community and see where we fit in eradicating things that negatively impact our community.

I remember the Honorable Minister Louis Farrakhan telling the sisters that we “had lost touch with the women.” As I watched this movie, I was over whelmed with the fact that I know some of these girls that are portrayed, I was/am some of these “girls”… I gotta ask myself, have I lost touch? When I watched the movie, I couldn’t get away from the thought that there are “girls” who currently live these lives and incorrectly think they are not able to escape the pain of there own realities. There are “girls” who do not know the reality of God, however you see Him. Yes, I cried at all the appropriate times and was straight shocked when Raheem did that to Princess Tiana (damn where Bishop at when you need him???), but at the end of the day, it was just a movie and reality is waiting right outside our door or inside our own homes.  Isn’t it our responsibility to at some point let our “girls” know that they are NOT in fact “colored”?  That they are the progeny of God…made in His image…not a colored, or altered version.   Oh, no “girl”, you are so much more…you are God’s little “girl”.  But, who is going to tell/show them and remind us of this TRUTH!???? Isn’t it up to those of us who claim to know otherwise?

If anything, though, I’m sure this was not Mr. Perry’s complete motivation, this movie was a reminder…a visual reminder that even though some of us may have children, health issues, some of us may have husbands, some of us may have nice fashion related employment and wear oh so fabulous leather tops and bangin’ stilettos…(sorry the fashionista was trying to escape…ssshhhh, HM…this blog is not about fashion) we are all connected with those of us who don’t have what we think we have and even more, still we are all sisters and we have a mission.  Like Sister Nojma Muhammad said in her review entitled No Apologies , “While sitting in the theater watching ‘For Colored Girls….’ I began to feel intense pain, not just the pain of the characters but the movie will also make you focus on your personal pain. I looked around and I saw the same pain reflected on the faces of my Sisters.” I had the same experience, we went as a group of sisters the other day (shout out to Mo, Noni, Mena, Mattie and Charnie) and we sat there for a minute absorbing all that we had seen…we honestly had to take a minute… As we cried watching the scene with the children (you know what scene if you saw it) how many of us (meaning all that have seen the movie) have the same emotion when we walk past a shelter where women and their children are seeking refuge from similar situations? So, we shed some tears, now what?  I could tell all of us were thinking about the collective pain of our “girls” and wondering how we could help more.

Real talk, I’m asking myself this same question.  Now, I understand, we are busy.  But, I’m asking us to ponder the question of our responsibility to our community.  Does our responsibility to our communities range outside of raising our OWN children properly or living our own lives as what we think is proper and right?  I’m married to a minister/self employed hip hop activist (hey babe!), I home school my two children, am active in the mosque, am in school, I study, and oh yes you best  believe I’m that Proverbs 31 Chick!  But, that doesn’t negate my responsibility to my community. I gotta do more and consistently so. Please don’t think that I’m undermining all our respective responsibilities….Lord knows I’m not…I’m just encouraging us to occasionally look outside our own stuff to the grander cause.  I know it’s hard…I fell off with my own stuff last year dealing with a trial that I know was directly from God and am fighting/clawing my way back to working this thing…so yeah, it’s real we are going to deal with our own issues, but that doesn’t change what we have to do.  All through out Torah, Bible, and Qur’an we see women handling God’s business despite what they got going on…All through our personal interactions with real life everyday women we see them handling our communities business despite what they got going on in their own personal lives…

I don’t want to be a religious hypocrite…at home judging when I know I have a big ole log cabin in my eye. Its not easy, but I know for a fact that it has to be done.  God’s guidance always appears in the actions of a person effecting positive change.  I’m not saying that we have to just roll out all willy nilly (yeah I said willy nilly…lol) but we can all do something to help others…  to build a “girls” self perception and help change realities. We gotta seek refuge in God…ask Him what He wants us to do…roll up our sleeves… be more organized…and do what God told us to do.

Patrice Muhammad has her own radio talk show where she addresses such issues.  Shirley Muhammad has her own non-for profit that address such issues. Adilah Muhammad is working for the homeless. Aminah Hanan is blogging for righteousness.  Audrey Muhammad  is the founder of Virtue Magazine. Beatrice X is on the ground and helping first hand with Oscar Grant’s family. MoMo Willy is building self esteem one verse at a time.  I’Aisha Eybers has been working miracles for a minute with our youth.  Yeyide Kmt has been encouraging Black Mommies for quite sometime. Orlana Darkins is helping young people Shyne year round. Toya Jones is a counselor helping shape mental realities every day. Kimberly Ellis is raising a collective conscious as an educator, activist, and performer. Cherwanna Thurmond volunteers by being a Big Sister. Reshonda Smith brought new underwear for some children who needed it just because they did. There are so many more sisters out there doing their thing! My point?  It can be done!  How do I know, because all the sisters I’ve mentioned are either students, or have either children, jobs, or husbands (some are all of the above) and are active in their respective communities in their own way.

We gotta put our emotions in check and rise into the thinking of God!  God doesn’t let His free will having children frustrate what He’s got going on.  God handles His business er’ day!  Our mission is aligned with God and it doesn’t have to be the same as the sisters I mentioned above…cuz we all have our own gifts, talents, circumstances and assignments.  It can be supporting the sisters we know…it can be that word of much needed encouragement…it can be inviting someone to the very thing that has improved our lives…it can be being a mentor/an example… it can be volunteering once a month, it can be attending something a sister has put together, it can be as simple as listening…or as huge as donating funds…We all know what are capable of doing by God’s grace…I’m just asking us so called “Concious Girls” to step up our game and actually do it(-: